Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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