Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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