in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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