Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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