Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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