yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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