talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
