Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
