theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
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