This is not my ceiling
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
We just shotgunned beers for America
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
