Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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