also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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