All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
