I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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