Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
