I bet he comes in French.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
