he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
