You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
