when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
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