You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize