Me too!
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
