If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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