Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
