I wannas sexs uuuuu
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
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