so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
