I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
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i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
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I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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