Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
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