i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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