ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
