So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
