New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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