just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
