I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
