Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
