I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
