.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
