it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
