Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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