Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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