Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize