I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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