So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?