It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
did you just send me my own nude
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy