Texts From Last Night

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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.

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  (250): Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap. http://tfl.nu/f3x1
  Replies (60) Good night (899) Bad night (18066)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?

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  (443): Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help? http://tfl.nu/kek4
  Replies (8) Good night (1275) Bad night (2940)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing

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  (407): i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing http://tfl.nu/l66q
  Replies (17) Good night (6084) Bad night (1290)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.

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  (469): Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again. http://tfl.nu/qvag
  Replies (6) Good night (2291) Bad night (826)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to

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  (336): Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to http://tfl.nu/huat
  Replies (4) Good night (1568) Bad night (592)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped

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  (319): Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped http://tfl.nu/i5o2
  Replies (33) Good night (1429) Bad night (692)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.

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  (610): You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/j615
  Replies (4) Good night (1135) Bad night (2189)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.

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  (260): I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much. http://tfl.nu/tatw
  Replies (5) Good night (1062) Bad night (512)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday

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  (503): Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday http://tfl.nu/7fl3
  Replies (2) Good night (1397) Bad night (487)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina

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  (706): I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina http://tfl.nu/j6ze
  Replies (12) Good night (2326) Bad night (885)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.

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  (410): Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips. http://tfl.nu/4phy
  Replies (2) Good night (1981) Bad night (677)
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  (619): View more from California

  But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.

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  (619): But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection. http://tfl.nu/g9u5
  Replies (18) Good night (809) Bad night (1007)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.

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  (828): There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper. http://tfl.nu/4caj
  Replies (2) Good night (617) Bad night (310)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.

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  (330): I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night. http://tfl.nu/a30e
  Replies (0) Good night (847) Bad night (281)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.

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  (386): Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it. http://tfl.nu/is7x
  Replies (4) Good night (265) Bad night (345)

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