is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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