He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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