the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
