My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
