you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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