Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize