Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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