Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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