Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Randomize
