He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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