"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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