so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
handjob tips. give me some.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize