What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
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