tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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