Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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